If you’re feeling down, look around Just enjoy your life

Gratitude for Yesterday & Today

1. I am grateful for the lessons VBS taught my children this week
2. I am grateful for the relationships that are beginning to bloom at CR
3. I am grateful for taking a huge step out of my comfort zone and honestly participate in the activity in CR
4. I am grateful for the lesson of doing things I do not want to anyway because it helps me grow and makes me happy
5. I am grateful; for the healing that is beginning

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

In You I find my Peace, my strength ....

Daily Inventory

Quiet time review of my day confessing my failures and celebrating my victories.

The following are the victories I celebrate today:

We woke up 20 minutes before we needed to leave for VBS. I am so thankful showers were taken care of last night. We got breakfast going and my coffee was done in time for us to go out the door! My husband is the hero who woke us up calling us on his break at work. He admitted to possibly being the one to shut off my alarm on accident. I did not get mad I just went into action and got everyone out the door.

Funny thing we went to bed late last night and I still took a shower saying " If I get woken up early by the lil one I will be screwed and will not be able to take a shower" lol

We got there ready for our High Seas Adventure Captain to open the doors for the kids to come in. Little one and I stayed and enjoyed the music.. ended up being a pretty good morning.

The following are my confessions of failure:

After lunch I dipped into a funk that I just have not been able to get out of. Did not complete a Ongoing Inventory. I just went to sleep as soon as my husband got home from work. We had a late dinner and now I am just ready to do nothing.

This is how I responded or will respond:

I read my bible when I woke up. I read a great passage of scripture in Psalms. I think I will shut the computer off and meditate on it before I go to sleep.

Calling the church tomorrow for Lay Counseling! Talking to someone at CR about step study!!!

Lessons learned .....

Take showers at night time makes for good mornings when woken up late!

Psalm 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

-Did I Read My Bible? yes

-Did I Pray? yes

-Did I Meditate on His word? going to when I am finished here

-Did I write in my Gratitude Journal? yes

-Did I complete a Self Examination? yes

Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

Gratitude for Yesterday & Today

Busy days this week with VBS in full swing at the church. My lil one and I have been staying through the beginning to learn the new songs and stories. She and I have been having so much fun together.

1. I am grateful for my children learning things about God'd word
2. I am grateful for my daughters smile
3. I am grateful for my daughters laugh
4. I am grateful my children are enjoying there high sea's adventure
5. I am grateful for scripture I am reading ( Psalm 4:1-8)

Anger - The Solution

EVALUATE THE ANGER:

Anger is one of my ten basic, God-given emotions. This emotion can be CONSTRUCTIVE or DESTRUCTIVE—depending upon my response. The focus of this group is on giving Jesus a “NANO SECOND” (just one billionth of a second!), to help me use all of my emotions according to God’s design, for my life, and to appropriately change my pattern of relating to my responsibilities and to other people.

It is both healthy and necessary to feel anger and to talk about my anger. I should recognize anger as my own emotion and avoid hurting the objects of my anger— keeping my anger as a feeling not an action. Looking at anger as a feeling may also reveal a larger hurt, habit or hang up that is hiding behind the anger. It is what I do with my feelings that will allow me to fall into sin. I need to check the motives for my behavior. Rudeness under the disguise of being honest is still rudeness.

There are two kinds of anger: healthy adaptive anger and unhealthy needless anger. Healthy anger is based on being protective of myself or others. Unhealthy needless anger is based on my resentment which leads to desiring revenge. Recognizing and accepting my responsibility for unhealthy needless anger is the first step towards true freedom from anger.

DAILY QUIET TIME WITH GOD:

Anger causes me to live in conflict and not in peace. I will try to remember that God is in charge of my life and He loves me unconditionally. I will commit to having a daily quiet time with God.

TAKING A “TIME-OUT”:

When I feel body arousal, I need to recognize that as a sign that I am getting angry. I will use a “time-out” to isolate myself from the trigger for my anger and to prevent the anger from becoming too intense. I will ask myself, “What is making me angry? And “How is this trigger about me?” I will reappraise the situation to keep my behavior under control. I will do something physical to release the adrenaline rush and energy in a healthy way, such as going for a walk or cleaning a closet. I will avoid alcohol, caffeine, or other medicating substances during “time-out.” Looking at anger as a feeling may also reveal a larger hurt, habit or hang up that is hiding behind the anger.

CONFRONTING IN LOVE:

After the time-out, I will go back and deal with what made me angry. If I leave an issue unresolved, it is likely to return later. I will not use the confrontation as an opportunity to blame, shame, seek revenge, or to rationalize my anger. Examples of confronting in love while stating my feelings are: “I love you, here’s how this action makes me feel,” or “I feel devalued when this is said or done.”

WORK THE 12 STEPS AND CONNECT WITH OTHERS:

I will commit to working the 12 Steps, to attend regularly the Celebrate Recovery meetings, and to getting an Accountability Partner for my anger management. (We strongly suggest each woman obtain a Life Recovery Bible and the Participant’s Guides, which are the tools we use in Celebrate Recovery.)

FORGIVE:

I will become willing to forgive myself and others. The Lord forgave you, so you must be willing to forgive others (Colossians 3: 13b NLT). Forgiveness is NOT forgetting what has happened. Forgiveness IS changing the way I think. Forgiveness IS my giving up my desire for revenge.

From the Inside Out

Inventory of Today

Quiet time review of my day confessing my failures and celebrating my victories.

The following are the victories I celebrate today:

Today I wrote out my frustrations instead of getting on the phone with my ex-husband.

I got the kiddos to VBS and took a moment to say hello to a few people instead of rushing through like I was in a hurry.

I spent good quality time with the boys today.

I picked up the phone and called a friend. I was honest about my feelings too.

(Oh I forgot to write last Friday and share that I got to openly speak with my husband and let him know the things I am dealing with. Since them I was able to finish the first chapter of Life's Choices and I am beginning Lesson 1 Denial.)

The following are my confessions of failure:

I spent too much time thinking about the frustrations of my day in my head

I spent too much time worrying about things of the future

I was unable to to pull myself out of my funk I fell into later this afternoon

This is how I responded or will respond:

I wrote about my frustrations in my ongoing journal. I prayed to God to give them to him. I took a nap to try to forget about it. I kept on reminding myself that I am not in control of the situation.

Lessons learned .....

Not arguing and keeping my frustrations under control is very exhausting.

-Did I Read My Bible? yes

-Did I Pray? yes

-Did I Meditate on His word? no

-Did I write in my Gratitude Journal? yes

-Did I complete a Self Examination? yes

Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

Gratitude for Today

1. I am grateful for my ability to write in my ongoing journal instead of yelling at my ex-husband over the phone
2. I am grateful for the time the boys had at VBS
3. I am grateful for the time I spent alone snuggling with my daughter
4. I am grateful for the extra hours my husband got at work today
5. I am grateful for being able to speak to a few good friends today

Anger - The Problem

As women who struggle with anger, we may not recognize that our anger has foundations in other basic emotions—usually fear or pain. These basic emotions may have become damaged as adults or when we were children. Some of us may have been abused or neglected as children. Others may have lost a parent or a loved one by their death. Many of us may have been abused or cheated on by a spouse or boyfriend.

We may have learned how to express anger inappropriately from our parents, other relatives, or friends. We did not realize that when we lashed out in anger, we were ignoring our fear, pain, or another deeper hurt, habit or hang-up. Others of us did not even realize we were struggling with anger because we did not express it, but rather, we stuffed it down and kept silent.

As our lives and relationships progressed we may have become addicted to the physical symptoms of anger. Some of us may have felt a momentary euphoria as the anger was released. Some of us did not recognize we were actually hurting our loved ones and ourselves in the process. In the heat of the moment, releasing our anger was all that mattered.

Some of us felt our anger was justified based on the object of anger’s actions, i.e., “If he hadn’t come home late from work, I wouldn’t have had to yell at him” or “If she had not talked back to me, I would not have had to slap her” or “My husband deserves me calling him names, yelling and fighting because he cheated on me.”

Many of us feel intense shame and guilt over the actions that we have committed during our unhealthy expressions of anger. We have vowed to never act that way again, only to find ourselves back in the same situations, unable to change it under our own power. Anger has confused us and gotten the better of us time and time again.

Some of us did not understand that anger is a God given emotion and that we could use it in healthy, productive ways. Being angry meant that we were bad, somehow faulty; even that we were not Christians. We have allowed our shame and guilt to create the false belief that we could not turn to God for his comfort, strength and guidance. We did not feel worthy of His help or love. We remained stuck in using anger as a coping mechanism and to get the desired results from others.

Frustrated!!!!

I am so very frustrated at this moment. My ex- husband's wife purchased a home and my ex-husband cannot even pay child support. He claims he does not work much but when his children call him or with him he is working! They are so superficial and pathetic when it comes to parenting and doing what is good for my children.

UGGGGHHH.......................

He does not like the parenting plan so he says he has an attorny that is putting paperwork together to change it.
He thinks he will have the boys all of July. Our parenting plan states every other weekend and that is what he is going to get. Since he is "working" all the time, the boys end up staying at a babysitter why should he have them for an entire month? I am a SAHMmy work is my children why should I let them hang out play video games all day, eat poorly drink pop and do whatever they want!

OMG!!! I just cannot stand all of this. The house they supposedly purchased is 45 minutes from here the boys are going to have there own room.. oh goodie! for 26 weekends of the year and a few holidays they gt there own room, fancy brand new gap clothes, a dog, a bib backyard and a bunch of video games/ DS.

Here they get that they need and we work hard for it with NO help from him, NO child support, NO medical, NO co-pays, NO assistance for his child's ADHD medication. Child support is more than just money how about a call every once in awhile and get to know what is going on in there life. A call just to say hello and let them know he is thinking about them. But he cannot even do that. He is too busy hanging out in bars drinking, going to concerts, partying and who knows what.

I am so angry with his choices and priorities.

I am so frustrated with him and his my **** does not stink attitude.

GRRRRRR.....

Why do I even care about this man who lives with his mother cannot hold a full time jobis married for the third time cannot keep his pants on LIAR!

(DEEP BREATH)

OKay I feel a little better. I am hanging out with the boys this afternoon just as I said I was going to.

Until next time ;)

Surrender

I'm giving You my heart and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of You my King
Im giving you my dreams, Im laying down my rights
Im giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender
All to You, all to You

Im singing You this song, Im waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing Your for the glory of Your name
To know the lastin joy, even sharing in Your pain

Gratitude Journal for Today

1. I am so very grateful for my pastor's teaching. Tho it is hard to discuss money when finances are so tight.
   
   
2. I am grateful for my husband in spending more time with the children this weekend.
   
   
3. I am grateful for good yummy food like Jambalaya
   
   
4. I am grateful for the weather being so nice
   
   
5. I am grateful to been able to sleep until 10am this morning (yes I like sleep)

Inventory of my day ...............

Quiet time review of my day confessing my failures and celebrating my victories.

The following are the victories I celebrate today:

Today I got out of bed! I got myself together and my children ready and tho we were 10 minutes late we still got to church even if we slept til 10am! Church starts at 10:57. Breakfast, showers and I even got coffee. I did all of the above with little anxiety however I did not let it take over my morning. I did not do what I normally would done in the past, I would have said there is not enough time and went back to bed.

I put together a template for my Daily Inventory so it will be easier for me to post.

I began my bible reading plan (again) but this time I have made it attainable in my daily schedule.

The following are my confessions of failure:

I continue to avoid large crowds at church.

I continue to avoid in more than small talk with those around me.

I continue to avoid confrontation and my children throughout the day. I have been keeping to myself a lot this weekend, which I am finding allows me to sort through thoughts however i think my children are starting to miss me.

This is how I responded or will respond:

This week is VBS at church for the boys. I will have my quiet time and space to myself while they are gone. Once I pick them up I will make a point to spend quality time with them in the afternoon.

As for church and doing more than small talk... I am not sure how to be sociable anymore. I'm not quite sure what to say. This is something I will have to bring up with my counselor, which I have decided to contact the church this week to find more information about the Lay Counseling Program they have available.

Through the 12 steps I will walk through my failures in recovery. I will be asking about a step- study this Thursday. I want to get started.

Lessons learned .....

Reading the Bible makes the day better.

I have to take charge of my own recovery!

-Did I Read My Bible? yes

-Did I Pray? yes

-Did I Meditate on His word? no

-Did I write in my Gratitude Journal? thats next

-Did I complete a Self Examination? yep!

Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

Celebration Recovery IS and IS NOT

Celebration Recovery IS:

• A safe place to share
• A refuge
• A place of belonging
• A place to care for others and be cared for
• A place where respect is given to each member
• A place where confidentiality is highly regarded
• A place to learn
• A place to grow and become strong again
• A place where you can take off your mask
• A place for healthy challenges and healthy risks
• A possible turning point in your life

Celebration Recovery is NOT:

• A place for selfish control
• A place for therapy
• A place for secrets
• A place to look for dating relationships
• A place to rescue or be rescued by others
• A place for perfection
• A place to judge others
• A quick fix

What is a Step Study?

Celebrate Recovery uses the 12 Steps and its related Scripture as the biblical model for living your life. A Step Study is a personal journey though each of these steps in a confidential group lead by a facilitator who has completed a study.

We use Celebrate Recovery's four participants books as we progress through them in group. When you finish walking out the steps in the study you will have worked your hurts, habits, and hang-ups through each step. A Step Study is a long-term commitment to the members of the group. It will typically take 7 to 9 months to complete the study. The groups remain open to new members joining them through the first study guide. From Step Book Study Guide 2 on they close off and no additional newcomers are allow. After completing the Step Study, we hope you will join with us as we minister to others dealing with their hurts, habits and hang-ups.

Our Step Study groups generally take place on a different night so as to

• not diminish the importance the Large Open Share and Small Gender and Specific Issue Groups have as a vital element in every participant's recovery experience
• to avoid robbing new participants of opportunities for ministry and outreach.