Daily Inventory

Quiet time review of my day confessing my failures and celebrating my victories.

The following are the victories I celebrate today:

We woke up 20 minutes before we needed to leave for VBS. I am so thankful showers were taken care of last night. We got breakfast going and my coffee was done in time for us to go out the door! My husband is the hero who woke us up calling us on his break at work. He admitted to possibly being the one to shut off my alarm on accident. I did not get mad I just went into action and got everyone out the door.

Funny thing we went to bed late last night and I still took a shower saying " If I get woken up early by the lil one I will be screwed and will not be able to take a shower" lol

We got there ready for our High Seas Adventure Captain to open the doors for the kids to come in. Little one and I stayed and enjoyed the music.. ended up being a pretty good morning.

The following are my confessions of failure:

After lunch I dipped into a funk that I just have not been able to get out of. Did not complete a Ongoing Inventory. I just went to sleep as soon as my husband got home from work. We had a late dinner and now I am just ready to do nothing.

This is how I responded or will respond:

I read my bible when I woke up. I read a great passage of scripture in Psalms. I think I will shut the computer off and meditate on it before I go to sleep.

Calling the church tomorrow for Lay Counseling! Talking to someone at CR about step study!!!

Lessons learned .....

Take showers at night time makes for good mornings when woken up late!

Psalm 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

-Did I Read My Bible? yes

-Did I Pray? yes

-Did I Meditate on His word? going to when I am finished here

-Did I write in my Gratitude Journal? yes

-Did I complete a Self Examination? yes

Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

Inventory of Today

Quiet time review of my day confessing my failures and celebrating my victories.

The following are the victories I celebrate today:

Today I wrote out my frustrations instead of getting on the phone with my ex-husband.

I got the kiddos to VBS and took a moment to say hello to a few people instead of rushing through like I was in a hurry.

I spent good quality time with the boys today.

I picked up the phone and called a friend. I was honest about my feelings too.

(Oh I forgot to write last Friday and share that I got to openly speak with my husband and let him know the things I am dealing with. Since them I was able to finish the first chapter of Life's Choices and I am beginning Lesson 1 Denial.)

The following are my confessions of failure:

I spent too much time thinking about the frustrations of my day in my head

I spent too much time worrying about things of the future

I was unable to to pull myself out of my funk I fell into later this afternoon

This is how I responded or will respond:

I wrote about my frustrations in my ongoing journal. I prayed to God to give them to him. I took a nap to try to forget about it. I kept on reminding myself that I am not in control of the situation.

Lessons learned .....

Not arguing and keeping my frustrations under control is very exhausting.

-Did I Read My Bible? yes

-Did I Pray? yes

-Did I Meditate on His word? no

-Did I write in my Gratitude Journal? yes

-Did I complete a Self Examination? yes

Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

Inventory of my day ...............

Quiet time review of my day confessing my failures and celebrating my victories.

The following are the victories I celebrate today:

Today I got out of bed! I got myself together and my children ready and tho we were 10 minutes late we still got to church even if we slept til 10am! Church starts at 10:57. Breakfast, showers and I even got coffee. I did all of the above with little anxiety however I did not let it take over my morning. I did not do what I normally would done in the past, I would have said there is not enough time and went back to bed.

I put together a template for my Daily Inventory so it will be easier for me to post.

I began my bible reading plan (again) but this time I have made it attainable in my daily schedule.

The following are my confessions of failure:

I continue to avoid large crowds at church.

I continue to avoid in more than small talk with those around me.

I continue to avoid confrontation and my children throughout the day. I have been keeping to myself a lot this weekend, which I am finding allows me to sort through thoughts however i think my children are starting to miss me.

This is how I responded or will respond:

This week is VBS at church for the boys. I will have my quiet time and space to myself while they are gone. Once I pick them up I will make a point to spend quality time with them in the afternoon.

As for church and doing more than small talk... I am not sure how to be sociable anymore. I'm not quite sure what to say. This is something I will have to bring up with my counselor, which I have decided to contact the church this week to find more information about the Lay Counseling Program they have available.

Through the 12 steps I will walk through my failures in recovery. I will be asking about a step- study this Thursday. I want to get started.

Lessons learned .....

Reading the Bible makes the day better.

I have to take charge of my own recovery!

-Did I Read My Bible? yes

-Did I Pray? yes

-Did I Meditate on His word? no

-Did I write in my Gratitude Journal? thats next

-Did I complete a Self Examination? yep!

Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

Daily Inventory

Today:

Did I show love to others?

I wish I could show my love to my husband and children. I am not sure I know how anymore.

Was I gentle?

NO

Did I have Peace?

No peace in me

Did I use patience?

Even tho we are on summer break I still cannot extend patience to others

Was I Faithful?

I am being faithful in my journaling this evening

Did I show self-control?

I have seemed to not have any self control over my emotion of anger, depression or anxiety today.

Am I full of joy?

I am unable to define joy at this moment

Was I Good?

I did all the necessary things in my household today.

Was I Kind? I

did not go out of my way to do something that was not required of me today.

Where do I need to make amends?

I need an edit button and complete this day over until my CR meeting.
I just had a hard day. I could barely function. All I could do is sit at my desk and read. I could not get myself to be productive. I am so tired of this occurring, I want my life back. I want my energy back.

I need to get up and give my children some loves and tuck them into bed. I know now that I did not give them that today and I am promptly making the choice to change that.

Daily Inventory

Good things that happened today:

• I spent Fathers Day with my husband and our children
• Attended Church
• Got to pick up my children
• All of us slept in till 9:15a

Not so good things that happened today:

• Had to drive 2 hours to get my children
• Did not get to have Dinner until 9:30p
• Feel like I should have been able to do more for my husband on Fathers Day

Lesson Learned:

No matter how hard I try at making plans .. someone else ( husbands ex-wife or my ex husband) will ruin them

Daily Inventory

I learned of the Daily Inventory this evening at CR and I was intrigued by the offerings it had to my recovery. I am going to begin to complete a review of my day each evening. Statistic shows that a relapse happens 2 weeks to a month before the actual relapse. It begins emotionally in the mind. I know that my anger and my anxiety have triggers (my depression and other issues may also).

In my journaling I am in hopes that I can see the triggers before I have a major meltdown or blowup. Or if I miss them I can look back and see if there are other issues. (Just a thought) Besides I will be doing it later on anyway...

• Things I did well today :
  
  I attended CR this evening and participated in group
  
  
• Things I messed up today:
  
  I snapped at my children to quickly when they were not listening. I believe they were at fault however my full fledged yelling (that upset them) was not the punishment that was equal to the wrong doing
  
  
• This is how I responded
  
  I have just began this inventory and I have not been able to respond to my mess up promptly today. However I will intentionally discuss this with the children tomorrow morning and let them know that I am sorry and that I was wrong in yelling at them when I did.

Note: I need to remember that I need to count to 10 for me, not for them to do what they are told!